


spring blossoms return

by tododekute



Category: The Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation, 魔道祖师 - 墨香铜臭 | Módào Zǔshī - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù
Genre: Lán Sīzhuī and Lán Jǐngyí appear for like 5 secs, M/M, also i'm donghua only as of yet but it'll change soon !, and the rabbits too, it's a little angsty but it ends well i promise
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-16
Updated: 2019-06-16
Packaged: 2020-05-13 03:49:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19243234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tododekute/pseuds/tododekute
Summary: It's been a few nights of Wang Ji weighing his options and battling against his feelings.And then he sees Wu Xian again and his brain stops functioning and his heart speaks for him."Wei Ying," he says.





	spring blossoms return

**Author's Note:**

> hi i started watching mdzs on the 8th and finished on the 13th so here's my offering to this fandom :)) i'm a little scared but i hope you'll like it !

He has his physical body and everyone calls him Mo Xuan Yu but Wang Ji knows it's not Mo Xuan Yu. He knows who it is and he doesn't know what to do with this knowledge. It’s the first time in his life knowledge has felt like a burden, and it’s confusing. 

It’s been days of weighing whether to stay silent or say something but both options feel like they’ll offer no satisfying end result. But the Gusu Lan clan doesn’t make rash decisions so he’s going to spend as many days as it takes until he finds the true solution to his turmoil. 

“Han Guang-Jun,” Lan Si Zhui greets as Wang Ji steps out of the Quiet Room. “You look unwell ?” 

Wang Ji sighs. He hasn't been sleeping well lately and his restlessness is starting to show. This night had been particularly rough, plagued with nightmares of dead living, green fire and a dark, ominous figure playing the flute. 

Wang Ji knows it's not a coincidence. 

"I'll be fine," he eventually replies and he doesn't think he's lying. Feelings are fleeting after all. Those ones just held up a bit longer than necessary. "You are free to go,” he dismisses Si Zhui and Jing Yi. “I'll let you know if I need anything," he adds before making his way to the Library Pavilion. 

They bow, not insisting though they don’t try to hide their concern, and head the opposite way. Wang Ji appreciates their concern but he doesn’t feel like he could elaborate on what is wrong, the only person he'd confide in being the root of the issue. 

Wang Ji’s steps are measured and quiet, contrasting sharply with his racing mind. The situation at hand is so different from anything he’s experienced before, his feelings so radically different from whatever solution his rational brain is supplying. But he knows feelings never surpass reason, he has been taught for years, never failed to respect the rules. But it’s not so clear-cut this time and it’s like he’s running in circles every time he thinks about it. How do you rationalize ignoring someone you have missed so much your heart physically pains you ? 

He tries to put the issue aside, a least for a while, but even the peaceful scenery the Cloud Recesses offers isn’t enough the quell his thoughts. The trees and flowers feel less radiant. He heads towards his rabbits in the hope that spending a few minutes with them will make him feel less agitated. He’s about to kneel down to pat one of his pets when his eyes catch sight of a figure sat down in the grass, surrounded by dozens of rabbits. 

He can’t even see his face but he knows who it is and all his talks of reason and rationality vanish as his heart does the talking for him. 

“Wei Ying,” he says and his heart aches at being finally able to call this name after 13 years. 

There's surprise and doubts also when he hears himself speak it out loud. He's been fighting his tongue not to call him like that since he came to the Cloud Recesses but it's out now. 

Wu Xian turns around, eyes slightly widening and Wang Ji is scared he messed up. Wu Xian most likely didn’t want him to know who he truly was or he would have said something. What if he gets scared Wang Ji will give his secret away and attempts to flee during the night ? What if Wu Xian doesn't trust him anymore because Wang Ji didn’t confess he knew who he truly was since the beginning ? 

Wang Ji isn't sure what he'll do if he loses the one he loves again, right after being offered the chance to be reunited with him. He isn't sure he'll be able to live without Wu Xian in his life right after adjusting to him being there again. 

He's terrified and his heart is beating deafeningly loud, and even though he hasn't stopped looking at Wu Xian since the name escaped his lips, he doesn’t see the way Wu Xian's eyes soften and start glistening. He doesn’t see the smile slowly lighting up Wu Xian's face because he isn't really looking at him anymore, his brain only supplying him with all those worst case scenarios. 

And then Wu Xian gets up and takes one hesitant step forward and Wang Ji is convinced he’s leaving. He cannot let that happen. 

"Please- !" He breathes out, hastily, as he extends his arm towards Wu Xian. He has to explain, he cannot lose him again, he has to- 

He doesn't get to say anything, the rest of his sentence dying out in his throat when Wu Xian hugs him. He feels it more than he sees it, the warmth of Wu Xian's body giving some of his back, Wu Xian's strong hold around his waist finally snapping him out of his nightmarish, panicked state. 

And then it dawns on him. Wu Xian doesn't resent him. Wu Xian is not leaving. Wu Xian is here, against his heart and Wang Ji isn't sure but he thinks Wu Xian's heart is beating hard too. 

He hugs him back, hands clutching the fabric of Wu Xian’s clothes. And before he knows it, he's crying - the pain of the past years crashing on him. The last moments he saw Wei Ying, not the Yiling Patriarch, the emotional pain of the rejection, the physical pain of his bloody, throbbing fingers, the hardly concealed tears. The knowledge things would have been so different if, maybe, Jiang Cheng wasn't here that day, filled with so much pain and hatred, drunk with power and revenge. He would have taken care of Wu Xian, he would have helped him get rid of the resentful energy that was killing him slowly, he would have helped him overcome the pain, he would never have betrayed him, he would- 

"I'm sorry," he hears Wu Xian whisper and his train of thoughts is cut. 

"For what ?" 

"Hurting you," Wu Xian replies, voice even softer than before and muffled by the fabric of Wang Ji's clothes. 

Wang Ji reluctantly breaks the embrace, holding Wu Xian at arm's length. 

"Hurting me ?" he asks, unsure of what Wu Xian means. "You didn't." 

"It hurt you, when you asked I return to Gusu with you and I didn’t say anything,” Wu Xian replies. He’s not asking Wang Ji, he knows it must have hurt though it was never his intention. 

Wang Ji’s arms fall to his side as he lowers his head and bites his lower lip, feeling an oncoming of fresh tears, the feelings of that day flooding him again. He takes a deep breath, willing himself not to cry again. To no avail. 

Wu Xian’s eyes get misty too. “I’m so sorry, Lan Zhan,” he says as he cups Wang Ji’s face with a gentle hand and wipes his tears with soothing motions. “I never meant to hurt you.” It’s barely above a whisper and silent tears start falling for him too when he remembers how painful everything felt that day. 

Wang Ji covers the hand Wu Xian placed on his cheek with his own. The contact is reassuring and as much as he hates seeing Wu Xian anything other than blindingly happy, it helps knowing he isn’t the only one hurting. 

“I don’t blame you for that, I know you weren’t in your normal state,” Wang Ji says, voice hoarse from crying. “But things must have been so lonely down there and I just wished I had…” He closes his eyes for a few seconds and when he opens them next, he’s looking down. “I wish I had fought more for you. For…” His eyes flutter back to Wu Xian’s face, locking eyes with him. “For us.” 

Wu Xian’s eyes widen slightly before he looks away. “Us ?” he repeats in a whisper. He looks shy, hesitant, a sight Wang Ji really isn’t accustomed to but he doesn’t have time to muse about it. 

Wang Ji lifts his other hand to hold Wu Xian’s between both of his. 

“The months I spent not knowing if you were even alive… they were torture.” His voice cracks at the last word and it’s like his eyes are imploring and Wu Xian can feel the pain Wang Ji has gone through. 

“So when you were there again, albeit not really yourself, I had so much hope we could start again.” Wang Ji’s grip on Wu Xian’s hand gets a little tighter and when he exhales, his breathing shudders. 

“I wanted to fix all the moments prior where I took our time together for granted, all the times I ignored or chased you away…” He’s breathing less regularly now and it’s a little erratic and Wu Xian feels himself getting affected by the sorrow in Wang Ji’s words. “All of it, I wanted to fix it but then-” 

Wu Xian puts his free hand on Wang Ji’s one, effectively halting his talk. The conversation is getting too much for both of them, regrets spilling one after the other and while letting it out is a good thing, Wu Xian knows steeping in regrets is not going to do them any good. 

“We clearly both have regrets,” he starts, voice gentle and eyes soft. “And you’ve had so many years to think about all the things you think you did wrong." He pauses. "And I’m sorry it took me so long to come back to you,” he adds, a shy smile on his face. 

“But I’m here now.” His smile grows larger. “And we’ve been offered a chance to start over, so let’s not waste more time regretting the past, yeah ?” 

Wang Ji doesn’t reply but his breathing has slowed down and the tears have stopped falling. The hold on his hand is relaxed again. Wu Xian knows he has his attention so he goes on. 

“You deserve to live in the moment. I don’t resent you for any of the things you did or didn’t do, I never could. So please, now, it’s time for you to forgive yourself too.” 

Wang Ji simply looks at Wu Xian. He doesn’t say anything, eyes busy looking over every detail of his new appearance. And though it looks different, Wang Ji can feel it’s his Wei Ying, his usual peaceful, carefree expression recognizable on any features. Wang Ji closes his eyes, breathes deeply. And when he opens his eyes again, it’s like he’s looking straight into Wu Xian’s soul. 

“I’ll do my best,” he declares. 

And those few words mean so much more than he lets on. He’ll do his best to be happy next to the one he’s loved for so long and finally has the chance to love freely. He’ll do his best so their new opportunity doesn’t go to waste. He’ll do his best to help Wu Xian fight his inner demons. 

It’s going to be challenging, they both know it though none of them speaks it aloud. But then Wu Xian smiles as a response to his declaration and Wang Ji just knows he’ll be able to go through any challenge thrown his way as long as this ray of sunshine is at his side. 

And then, for the nth time of the day, something dawns on him : Wu Xian _will_ be at his side for the remainder of his life. He can’t help the smile blooming on his face as the thought gets clearer in his mind. He hasn’t smiled so genuinely in the last 13 years. 

Somehow, Wu Xian must know it as he beams, smile lightening up his whole face, eyes sparkling and Wang Ji realizes that Wu Xian is smiling thanks to him and to him only. 

And maybe it’s the spinning of his head from the pandemonium of emotions, or the wave of unabashed, pure happiness he feels at the moment, Wang Ji isn’t sure, but he manages to ignore the wild beating of his heart as he leans in to plant a soft kiss on Wu Xian’s lips. 

It’s when he feels Wu Xian’s smile against his lips that he realizes, _home will feel like home again now_.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you to everyone who read this far ! not going to get too emo or anything but being able to post this fic means a lot to me bc i was on the biggest writing block, like i couldn't finish anything that i started, let alone post it ! so it's pretty crazy that this donghua that i started watching on a whim took me out of this block but i'm so so thankful i love wangxian so much like i don't think i've loved any characters that much since yuri on ice lke.... oof.  
> so anyway ! all of that to say, to anyone who reads, leaves a kudos and/or comments on this : i owe you my heart and love you more than i love wangxian AND viktuuri ~~(and tddk)~~ hihi !  
> have a nice day/night and thank you again !!


End file.
